MaRtHa WaY VS. d rEaL WoMeN WaY

The Martha Way #1
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
The Real Women's Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

The Martha Way #2
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.
The Real Women's Way
If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough shit. Please recite with me the Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

The Martha Way #3
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
The Real Women's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 2 ounces of tequila. Drink the Tequila. You might still have the headache, but at least you will be too drunk to give a shit.

The Martha Way #4
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The Real Women's Way
Go ask mister tight-ass, cute-legs, single neighbor to do it for you.

The Martha Way #5
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
The Real Women's Way
Leftover wine????? What leftover wine???????